Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Why people have so many problems

If you want your children to turn out well, spend twice as much time with them, and half as much money.
- Abigail Van Buren, advice columnist (1918- )

"Dear Abby" gave good advice. The term "quality time" was invented by busy North American parents to ease their minds about the fact that they spent too little time with their children and too much at work.

Real quality time where children and their parents are together is not when both play, but when the parents impart lessons about how adults behave, what adults do and should not do, how to act with others and how to do certain activities. It's about lessons, not play itself.

There is no substitute for time spent together with parents and children. The first job of children is to learn about what the world of adults is like, so they need to spend lots of time with those who are their primary role models. If they spend more time with television, they model themselves after characters they see on television.

The primary responsibility of parents, the most important job they will ever have, is to teach their children. When a job comes first all the time, children learn in an unbalanced manner and may be expected to have problems as a consequence later in their lives.

Bill Allin
'Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems,' striving to put parents and children together in a responsibile and loving relationship for life.
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