Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Fragile personal relationships

A member of one of my internet communities replied, as follows, to a recommendation I made about marriage relationships:
> I appreciate the advice Bill.... a very useful tool in a marriage,or any relationship.

There is nothing easy about a marriage or any other relationship. Those who believe a marriage is easy are self-delusional.

There are numerous reasons for this social difficulty. One is that the world is no longer the setting for thousands of agriculture-based villages where each man truly is the brother of the next man (usually out of necessity).

In the complex world of today, we need to teach skills regarding relationships. Those who formulate school curriculum blithely believe that the only curriculum worth teaching is that relating to future jobs (the exception being religion-based schools, some of which teach nothing but religion).

We need to teach social skills. It isn't working to leave this up to chance or the inconsistency of parental guidance. My parents, for example, simply didn't know what to teach me. They were not alone, judging by the life experiences of many people I know.

In tribal or village-based societies, it could safely be assumed that a child would learn all the social skills necessary to survive in the group, by the time they reached adulthood. That accidental school of management style fails in megalopic societies.

If we teach, they will learn. If we do not teach, life becomes a game of chance.

Bill Allin
'Turning it Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems'

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