Sunday, December 02, 2007

How To Show Others The Best Of Yourself

When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves.
- William Arthur Ward

People like people who try to bring out the best in them. They may resent the methods used sometimes, but that's because the two may not have agreed on how the methods should be implemented.

Everyone wants more respect. Most prefer to earn the respect of others if they can. That's where the helpers or mentors become so valuable. The mentors try to improve their "students" so that the students will deserve greater respect for their skills and accomplishments. What's not to like about that?

Some people don't want to go to the trouble that inevitably is involved with reaching for greater heights of skill, knowledge or achievement. If the drive of these people is strong enough, they learn the skills of power management instead. They work to become powerful. They gain the respect that derives from having power, though they can't receive respect for their knowledge or skills.

US President George W. Bush, for example, endured lots of criticism during his first years in power because of his undistinguished accomplishments in any field of endeavour. However, he overcame that deficit by becoming the (self designated) "war president" which gave him recognition far beyond what he would have received as president of the US because he had the power to invent causes and invade countries, putting them at war with the most powerful nation on earth. That's power.

President Bush doesn't have to bring out the best in people, he simply has to have others find them and hire them for his Cabinet. Donald Trump doesn't have to bring out the best in people, he simply looks for clone-like representations of himself. Young up-and-comers line up in droves to please Mr. Trump because of his power, not because of his ability to improve their skills. President Bush and Mr. Trump have their own best interests in mind rather than the interests of those they employ.

As Ward said, bringing out the best in others has the additional benefit of bringing out the best in ourselves. What he didn't say but could be a corollary of his quote was that those who bring out the best in others are rarely power mongers. They tend toward the gentle, though their methods sometimes come across as rough. They are often viewed as having "hearts of gold," no matter what manner of exterior they present.

Those who help others up accomplish more than simply giving them a handout. It's the "feeding someone a fish versus teaching them to fish" thing. They become better people by helping others become better.

They never wonder what their mission is in life because they fulfill it with their actions. They live by example the lives they wish for others.

In turn, they advance the cause of humanity in ways that power lovers never could.

Bill Allin
Turning It Around: Causes and Cures for Today's Epidemic Social Problems, a book about how, what and when to teach children the critical lessons of life so that they become competent and confident adults without resorting to the escape methods that incomplete adults today do.
Learn more at http://billallin.com

No comments: